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Funny -- Interesting comments by various personalities on Sachin’s 100th century

Interesting comments by various personalities on Sachin’s 100th  century

1. Digvijay Singh – Sachin is an RSS agent. All these days he was waiting to score his century against a Muslim country.
2. Manmohan Singh – I congratulate Sachin and also appreciate leadership of Shrimati Sonia Gandhi.
3. Rahul Gandhi – My grandmother created Bangladesh. She deserves the credit for this century.
4. Raj Thakrey – Sachin has proved himself to be a true Marathi Manus after scoring this century. So what if India has lost, Maharashtrians can not take the responsibility of the whole nation.
5. Mulayam Singh Yadav – If Sachin was from UP, I would have made tickets of all Cricket matches ‘Tax free’.
6. Anna Hazare – Sachin deserves to be the next lokpal of the country.
7. Baba Ramdev – If you multiply all the runs Sachin has made by a billion is what is the total black money in foreign country.
8. Kapil Sibbal – Social media need to control comments on Sachin’s century. It will harm the fabric of secularism in India.>
9. Swami Agnivesh – Now that Bangladesh has helped Sachin score his 100th century, they have proved to be a true friend of India. Lets welcome their citizen in India and let them live wherever they can. Lets issue them voter’s ID card
10. Kris Shrikant – We selectors hope that by 2050, Sachin will also score his 150th century.
11. Arjun Tendulkar – I want to play with my father in 2020 world cup.
12. Sachin Tendulkar himself – Aaeellaaaa…. Now what excuse I will make to not retire.
13. Sonia Gandhi – Er….. She did not respond since she is suffering from an undisclosed disease.
14. Karuna Nidhi.......Who is Sachin Tandulkar?
15. Jayalalitha.....Sometimes Sashikala could have been right. She said something about this guy. I ignored it as I thought that he was a Bollywood filmstar...In any case Dr. MGR was a better player

But the best one indeed from Mamta which appeared in some Bengali daily: She said- She was not consulted in advance on such massive score hike, hence the century should be rolled back to 90. She also demanded if it is not rolled back or withdrawn by weekend, Sachin should be replaced in the team by MadanMuloRoy.

Who is the BEST

Who is the BEST - Infosys, Wipro or TCS? 


One day, three consultants, one from Wipro, one from Infosys and one from TCS, went out for a walk. 


"Why don't we prove who is the best among ourselves?" 


Why not, said the other two. 


The Infosian said "Let's have a test. Whoever makes this monkey laugh, works for the best firm". 




Being a pure logical strategist, the person from TCS tried to make the monkey Laugh by telling jokes. The monkey stayed still. As a more practical consultant, the Wipro guy tried to make funny gestures... No good, the monkey stayed put. Now, comes the Infosian. Being the practical guy he was always trained to be, he whispered something into the monkey's ear, and it burst out laughing at him. The other two were astonished. 


So the Wipro guy said "OK, let's take another test. Let's make this monkey cry!!" 




So there they went again, applying the same methods as before. The TCS guy narrated sad stories, the Wipro guy made sad gestures, and they failed again. 


Then, the Infosian again whispered something into the monkey's ear and oh! It started crying, patting the Infosian's shoulder! The other two just could not believe their eyes! 


So the TCS guy said "OK, you've won twice. If you can win just this one, we will bow to you. Let's make this monkey run". 




And he barked at the monkey and ordered him to run. Of course, it stayed where it was.. The Wipro guy, true to his type, pushed and prodded the monkey- still No go. So...here comes Infosian, again, and whispers into the monkey's ear. The Monkey just takes off! It runs and runs as fast as it can, as if it was scared to death! The other two surrendered. 




They Said: "OK, we give up. You're the best among us, and you work for the Best firm of the three. But please, please tell us your secret," they begged him. 


"Well", said the Infosian , "The first time I made it laugh, I told I work for Infosys . The next time, I told the monkey how much I get paid ...so it started crying. And then I told that I was here for recruitment !!!"

Aam Hai Kya...?

A Parrot Goes To A Shopkeeper And Asks ... 'Aam Hai Kya?'
The Shopkeeper Says ... 'Nahi. Hum Aam Nahi Bechte.'


Next Day At The Same Time, The Parrot Goes Again And Asks Him ...'Aam Hai Kya ?'
He Gets A Little Irritated And Says... 'Aare Bola Na, Hum 'Aam Nahi Bechte'


On The Third Day, The Parrot Goes Again And Asks Him 'Aam Hai Kya ?'
He Gets Wild And Yells ...'Bola Na Naahi. Abhi Vapas Aaya To Hathoda Marunga Sar Ke Upar'


The Next Day,The Parrot Comes Again And Asks Him ..'Hathoda Hai Kya ?'
The Shopkeeper Says ... 'Nahi'


The Parrot Then Asks ... 'Aam Hai Kya ?'




The Next Day Parrot Again Goes To Shopkeeper And Asks
"Aam Hai Kya??"


The Shopkeeper Is Ready Now....
He Quickly Pulls A Hammer And Hits The Parrot On The Face.


The Parrot Looses All His Teeth
But Determined, Parrot Again Goes 2 The Shopkeeper Next Day N Asks




Scroll Down


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"AAM KA JUICE HAI KYA???"

Santa In Intensive Care Unit

A man was brought in to the hospital intensive care unit ward, put in a bed tubes coming out everywhere. A week later, another man was admitted, in a similar condition. 


Both lay there, machines pinging, tubes poking etc. a couple more weeks before one of them had the strength to raise his hand and point to himself and say, "Bengali." 


The other patient signaled he had heard, raised his own hand, and said, "Punjabi." 


This act tired them out so badly it was a week before the first summoned up the strength to say, "Calcutta." 


Other replied in a weedy frail voice, "Ludhiana." 


Once more, the strain was too much for them both and they passed out. Days passed before the first patient managed to again point to himself and say, "Asit." 


Replied the other, "Santa." 


A few hours later, Asit managed to point to himself again and rasp out weakly, "Cancer." 


Santa responded, "Sagittarius."

Google Plus Test

Google Plus Test

A Very Very Happy And Prosperous New Year 2012 To All.......

Dost

1. RESULT AGAR ACHCHA HO:
Maa - Bhagwan Ki Kripa Hai.
Papa - Beta Kiska Hai.
Dost - Chal Daaru Peete Hain.


2. RESULT AGAR BURA HO:
Maa - Aag Lage Is Mobile Main.
Papa - Laad Pyar Ne Bigaad Diya.
Dost  - Chal Daaru Peete Hain.


3. BIRTHDAY PAR:
Maa - Jug Jug Jiye Mera Beta.
Papa - Hamesha Aage Badhe.
Dost - Chal Daaru Peete Hain.


4. LOVE MAIN FAIL HONE PAR:
Maa - Beta Bhool Ja Usko.
Papa - Mard Ban.
Dost - Chal Daaru Peete Hain.




MORAL OF THE STORY :
Duniya Badal Jati Hai Par Dost Kabhi Nahi Badalte... 

Finally appear on Zend's Yellow Page: http://bit.ly/vmAToC

Finally, became a Zend PHP 5.3 Certified Engineer!! :)

Amitabh Bachhan Calls Rajanikanth

Rajnikanth Was Bragging To Amitabh Bachchan One Day, "You Know, I Know Everyone. Just Name Someone, Anyone, And I Know Them."


Tired Of His Boasting, Amitabh Called His Bluff, "Ok, Rajini How About Tom Cruise?" 


"Sure, Yes, Tom And I Are Old Friends, And I Can Prove It" Rajini Said.


So Rajini And Amitabh Fly Out To Hollywood And Knock On Tom Cruise's Door, And Sure Enough, Tom Cruise Shouts: ---


"Thalaiva! Great To See You! You And Your Friends Come Right In And Join Me For Lunch!"


...Although Impressed, Amitabh Is Still Skeptical.


After They Leave Cruise's House, He Tells Rajini That He Thinks Rajini Knowing Cruise Was Just Lucky.


"No, No, Just Name Anyone Else" Rajini Says


.."President Obama", Amitabh Quickly Retorts


..."Yes", Rajini Says, "I Know Him."


And Off They Go.


At The White House, Obama Spots Rajini On The Tour And Motions Him, Saying :----


"Rajini, What A Surprise, I Was Just On My Way To A Meeting, But You And Your Friend Come On In And Let's Have A Cup Of Coffee First And Catch Up".


Well, Amitabh Bachchan Is Much Shaken By Now, But Still Not Totally Convinced.


After They Leave The White House Grounds, He Implores Him To Name Anyone Else.


"The Pope, "Amitabh Bachan Replies


..."Sure!" Says Rajini,


"My Folks Are From Italy And I've Known The Pope A Long Time".


Rajini And Amitabh Are Assembled With The Masses In Vatican Square When Rajini Says,


"This Will Never Work. I Can't Catch The Pope's Eye Among All These People.
Tell You What, I Know All The Guards So Let Me Just Go Upstairs And I'll Come Out On The Balcony With The Pope."


And He Disappears Into The Crowd Headed Toward The Vatican ..


Sure Enough, Half An Hour Later Rajini Emerges With The Pope On The Balcony.


But By The Time Rajini Returns, He Finds That Amitabh Bachchan Has Had A Heart Attack And Is Surrounded By Paramedics.


Working His Way To Amitabh Bachchan's Side, Rajini Asks Him, "What Happened?"


Amitabh Bachchan Looks Up And Says,


"I Was Doing Fine Until You And The Pope Came Out On The Balcony And The Italian Man Next To Me Asked,


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"Who's That On The Balcony With Rajini?"

Position or Performance?

A Priest dies & is awaiting his turn in line at the Heaven's Gates.


Ahead of him is a guy, nattily dressed, in dark sun glasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket & jeans.
God asks him: Please tell me who are you, so that I may know whether to admit you into the kingdom of Heaven or not?


The guy replies: I am Seenu, Auto driver from Mangalore !
God consults his ledger, smiles & says to Seenu: Please take this silken robe & gold scarf & enter the Kingdom of Heaven ..


Now it is the priest's turn. He stands erect and speaks out in a booming voice: I am Pope's Assistant so & so, Head Priest of the so & so Church for the last 40 years.
God consults his ledger & says to the Priest: Please take this cotton robe & enter the Kingdom of Heaven ...


'Just a minute,' says the agonized Priest. 'How is it that a foul mouthed, rash driving Auto Driver is given a Silken robe & a Golden scarf and me, a Priest, who's spent his whole life preaching your Name & goodness has to make do with a Cotton robe?'


'Results my friend, results,' shrugs God.


'While you preached, people SLEPT; but when he drove his Auto, people PRAYED.'




Moral of the story: It's PERFORMANCE & not POSITION that ultimately counts.

Avataar

My Avataar...!!!

LOL!!!!

Annual Party

Annual Party Celebration held on 10th December 2011 at Krazy Castle.

Here are some cool pictures from the party...

Cool Na...?

Goodbye Prayer

A Father Put His 3 Year Old Daughter To Bed, Told Her A Story And Listened To Her Prayers Which Ended By Saying: 
"God Bless Mommy, God Bless Daddy, God Bless Grandma And Goodbye Grandpa."


The Father Asked, "Why Did You Say Goodbye Grandpa?"


The Little Girl Said, "I Don't Know Daddy, It Just Seemed Like The Thing To Do."


The Next Day Grandpa Died. The Father Thought It Was A Strange Coincidence.


A Few Months Later The Father Put The Girl To Bed And Listened To Her Prayers Which Went Like This: 
"God Bless Mommy, God Bless Daddy And Goodbye Grandma." The Next Day The Grandmother Died.


"Holy Moley, Thought The Father, This Kid Is In Contact With The Other Side.


Several Weeks Later When The Girl Was Going To Bed The Dad Heard Her Say: "God Bless Mommy And Goodbye Daddy." He Practically Went Into Shock.


He Couldn't Sleep All Night And Got Up At The Crack Of Dawn To Go To His Office. He Was Nervous As A Cat All Day, Had Lunch And Watched The Clock.
He Figured If He Could Get By Until Midnight He Would Be Okay. 
He Felt Safe In The Office, So Instead Of Going Home At The End Of The Day He Stayed There, Drinking Coffee, Looking At His Watch And Jumping At Every Sound.


Finally, Midnight Arrived, He Breathed A Sigh Of Relief And Went Home. When He Got Home His Wife Said, "I've Never Seen You Work So Late, What's The Matter?"


He Said, "I Don't Want To Talk About It, I've Just Spent The Worst Day Of My Life."


She Said, "You Think You Had A Bad Day, You'll Never Believe What Happened To Me. This Morning My Golf Professor Dropped Dead In The Middle Of My Lesson.

God Is Never Wrong

A King Who Did Not Believe In The Goodness Of God, Had A Slave Who, In All Circumstances, Said: My King, Do Not Be Discouraged, Because Everything God Does Is Perfect, No Mistakes!

One Day They Went Hunting And Along The Way A Wild Animal Attacked The King. His Slave Managed To Kill The Animal, But Could Not Prevent His Majesty Losing A Finger.

Furious And Without Showing His Gratitude For Being Saved, The Nobleman Said "Is God Good? If He Was Good, I Would Not Have Been Attacked And Lost My Finger."

The Slave Replied: "My King, Despite All These Things, I Can Only Tell You That God Is Good, And He Knows "Why" Of All These Things. What God Does Is Perfect. He Is Never Wrong!"

Outraged By The Response, The King Ordered The Arrest Of His Slave.

Later, He Left For Another Hunt And Was Captured By Savages Who Made Human Sacrifices.

In The Altar, Ready To Sacrifice The Nobleman, The Savages Found That The Victim Had Not One Of His Fingers, So He Was Released. According To Them, It Was Not So Complete To Be Offered To The Gods.

Upon His Return To The Palace, He Authorized The Release Of His Slave That He Received Very Affectionately.

"My Dear, God Was Really Good To Me! I Was Almost Killed By The Wild Men, But For Lack Of A Single Finger, I Was Let Go! But I Have A Question: If God Is So Good, Why Did He Allow Me To Put You In Jail?"

"My King, If I Had Gone With You In This Hunt, I Would Have Been Sacrificed For You, Because I Have No Missing Finger, Therefore, Remember Everything God Does Is Perfect. He Is Never Wrong."

Often We Complain About Life, And Negative Things That Happen To Us, Forgetting That Nothing Is Random And That Everything Has A Purpose.

Every Morning, Offer Your Day To God, Don't Be In A Rush.

Ask God To Inspire Your Thoughts, Guide Your Actions, And Ease Your Feelings. And Do Not Be Afraid. God Is Never Wrong!

You Know Why This Message Is For You? I Do Not Know, But God Knows, Because He Never Makes Mistakes.......

The Path Of God And His Word Is Perfect, Without Impurities. He Is The Way Of All Those Who Trust In Him.

What You Do With This Message Is Up To You. May God Put In Your Heart The Desire To Send It To Someone. God Knows Why He Choose You To Receive This Message. 
Please Bless Someone With It.

God Is Never Wrong

Meaning Of Car Names

BMW: Brings Me Women.

FIAT: Failure in Italian Automotive Technology.

FORD: For Only Rough Drivers.

HYUNDAI: Hope You Understand Nothing's Drivable And Inexpensive....

VOLVO: Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object.

PORSCHE: Proof Of Rich Spoiled Children Having Everything.

KIA: Kills In Accidents


OPEL: Old People Enjoying Life


TOYOTA: The One You Only Trust, Always.

GOLF/GTI: Girls Only Love Fun / Get Them Inside


HONDA: Hanged Over, Now Driving Away.

Taxi Driver

A Taxi Passenger Tapped The Driver On The Shoulder To Ask Him A Question. 


The Driver Screamed, Lost Control Of The Car, Nearly Hit A Bus, Went Up On The Footpath, And Stopped Centimeters From A Shop Window.




For A Second Everything Went Quiet In The Cab, Then The Driver Said, "Look Mate, Don't Ever Do That Again. You Scared The Daylights Out Of Me!" 


The Passenger Apologized And Said, "I Didn't Realize That A Little Tap Would Scare You So Much."




The Driver Replied, "Sorry, It's Not Really Your Fault. Today Is My First Day As A Cab Driver. I've Been Driving A Funeral Van For The Last 25 Years." 

Where to tap

Ever Heard The Story Of The Giant Ship Engine That Failed?
The  Ship's Owners Tried One Expert After Another, But None Of Them Could Figure But How To Fix The Engine.


Then They Brought In An Old Man Who Had Been Fixing Ships Since He Was A Youngster.

He Carried A Large Bag Of Tools With Him, And When He Arrived, He  Immediately Went To Work. 
He Inspected The Engine Very Carefully,  Top To Bottom. 


Two Of The Ship's Owners Were There, Watching This Man, Hoping He Would Know What To Do. 
After Looking Things Over, The Old Man Reached Into His Bag And Pulled Out A Small Hammer. 


He Gently  Tapped Something. Instantly, The Engine Lurched Into Life.


He Carefully Put His Hammer Away. 
The Engine Was Fixed! 
A Week Later, The Owners Received A Bill From The Old Man For Ten Thousand  Dollars.


"What?!" The Owners Exclaimed. "He Hardly Did Anything!"


So They Wrote The Old Man A Note Saying, "Please Send Us An Itemized Bill."




The Man Sent A Bill That Read:


Tapping With A Hammer ..      $2.00
Knowing Where To .......... $9998.00


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Moral: Effort Is Important, But Knowing Where To Make An Effort In Your  Life Makes All The Difference.

Programmer Vs Non-Programmer

A Non-programmer Thinks There Are 1000 Bytes In A Kilobyte.


A Programmer Is Convinced That There Are 1024 Meters In A Kilometer.


Non-programmer : I've Just Become A Member Of Rotract Club.
Programmer : Public Member Or Private?


Non-programmer: Hey.. My Submarine Is Not Sinking Into The Water!! What Could Be Wrong?
Programmer: May Be You Have Used Float Instead Of Double In The Software.


Non-programmer: Hey Bill, Can You Do Me A Favor? Can You Pass On These 500 Rupees To My Friend Joe?
Programmer: Sure.. Why Not? But Tell Me One Thing. Tell Me Whether Its Pass By Value Or Pass By Reference.