My Zend Certification!! :)

Funny -- Interesting comments by various personalities on Sachin’s 100th century

Interesting comments by various personalities on Sachin’s 100th  century

1. Digvijay Singh – Sachin is an RSS agent. All these days he was waiting to score his century against a Muslim country.
2. Manmohan Singh – I congratulate Sachin and also appreciate leadership of Shrimati Sonia Gandhi.
3. Rahul Gandhi – My grandmother created Bangladesh. She deserves the credit for this century.
4. Raj Thakrey – Sachin has proved himself to be a true Marathi Manus after scoring this century. So what if India has lost, Maharashtrians can not take the responsibility of the whole nation.
5. Mulayam Singh Yadav – If Sachin was from UP, I would have made tickets of all Cricket matches ‘Tax free’.
6. Anna Hazare – Sachin deserves to be the next lokpal of the country.
7. Baba Ramdev – If you multiply all the runs Sachin has made by a billion is what is the total black money in foreign country.
8. Kapil Sibbal – Social media need to control comments on Sachin’s century. It will harm the fabric of secularism in India.>
9. Swami Agnivesh – Now that Bangladesh has helped Sachin score his 100th century, they have proved to be a true friend of India. Lets welcome their citizen in India and let them live wherever they can. Lets issue them voter’s ID card
10. Kris Shrikant – We selectors hope that by 2050, Sachin will also score his 150th century.
11. Arjun Tendulkar – I want to play with my father in 2020 world cup.
12. Sachin Tendulkar himself – Aaeellaaaa…. Now what excuse I will make to not retire.
13. Sonia Gandhi – Er….. She did not respond since she is suffering from an undisclosed disease.
14. Karuna Nidhi.......Who is Sachin Tandulkar?
15. Jayalalitha.....Sometimes Sashikala could have been right. She said something about this guy. I ignored it as I thought that he was a Bollywood filmstar...In any case Dr. MGR was a better player

But the best one indeed from Mamta which appeared in some Bengali daily: She said- She was not consulted in advance on such massive score hike, hence the century should be rolled back to 90. She also demanded if it is not rolled back or withdrawn by weekend, Sachin should be replaced in the team by MadanMuloRoy.

Who is the BEST

Who is the BEST - Infosys, Wipro or TCS? 


One day, three consultants, one from Wipro, one from Infosys and one from TCS, went out for a walk. 


"Why don't we prove who is the best among ourselves?" 


Why not, said the other two. 


The Infosian said "Let's have a test. Whoever makes this monkey laugh, works for the best firm". 




Being a pure logical strategist, the person from TCS tried to make the monkey Laugh by telling jokes. The monkey stayed still. As a more practical consultant, the Wipro guy tried to make funny gestures... No good, the monkey stayed put. Now, comes the Infosian. Being the practical guy he was always trained to be, he whispered something into the monkey's ear, and it burst out laughing at him. The other two were astonished. 


So the Wipro guy said "OK, let's take another test. Let's make this monkey cry!!" 




So there they went again, applying the same methods as before. The TCS guy narrated sad stories, the Wipro guy made sad gestures, and they failed again. 


Then, the Infosian again whispered something into the monkey's ear and oh! It started crying, patting the Infosian's shoulder! The other two just could not believe their eyes! 


So the TCS guy said "OK, you've won twice. If you can win just this one, we will bow to you. Let's make this monkey run". 




And he barked at the monkey and ordered him to run. Of course, it stayed where it was.. The Wipro guy, true to his type, pushed and prodded the monkey- still No go. So...here comes Infosian, again, and whispers into the monkey's ear. The Monkey just takes off! It runs and runs as fast as it can, as if it was scared to death! The other two surrendered. 




They Said: "OK, we give up. You're the best among us, and you work for the Best firm of the three. But please, please tell us your secret," they begged him. 


"Well", said the Infosian , "The first time I made it laugh, I told I work for Infosys . The next time, I told the monkey how much I get paid ...so it started crying. And then I told that I was here for recruitment !!!"

Aam Hai Kya...?

A Parrot Goes To A Shopkeeper And Asks ... 'Aam Hai Kya?'
The Shopkeeper Says ... 'Nahi. Hum Aam Nahi Bechte.'


Next Day At The Same Time, The Parrot Goes Again And Asks Him ...'Aam Hai Kya ?'
He Gets A Little Irritated And Says... 'Aare Bola Na, Hum 'Aam Nahi Bechte'


On The Third Day, The Parrot Goes Again And Asks Him 'Aam Hai Kya ?'
He Gets Wild And Yells ...'Bola Na Naahi. Abhi Vapas Aaya To Hathoda Marunga Sar Ke Upar'


The Next Day,The Parrot Comes Again And Asks Him ..'Hathoda Hai Kya ?'
The Shopkeeper Says ... 'Nahi'


The Parrot Then Asks ... 'Aam Hai Kya ?'




The Next Day Parrot Again Goes To Shopkeeper And Asks
"Aam Hai Kya??"


The Shopkeeper Is Ready Now....
He Quickly Pulls A Hammer And Hits The Parrot On The Face.


The Parrot Looses All His Teeth
But Determined, Parrot Again Goes 2 The Shopkeeper Next Day N Asks




Scroll Down


---


---


---


"AAM KA JUICE HAI KYA???"

Santa In Intensive Care Unit

A man was brought in to the hospital intensive care unit ward, put in a bed tubes coming out everywhere. A week later, another man was admitted, in a similar condition. 


Both lay there, machines pinging, tubes poking etc. a couple more weeks before one of them had the strength to raise his hand and point to himself and say, "Bengali." 


The other patient signaled he had heard, raised his own hand, and said, "Punjabi." 


This act tired them out so badly it was a week before the first summoned up the strength to say, "Calcutta." 


Other replied in a weedy frail voice, "Ludhiana." 


Once more, the strain was too much for them both and they passed out. Days passed before the first patient managed to again point to himself and say, "Asit." 


Replied the other, "Santa." 


A few hours later, Asit managed to point to himself again and rasp out weakly, "Cancer." 


Santa responded, "Sagittarius."

Google Plus Test

Google Plus Test

A Very Very Happy And Prosperous New Year 2012 To All.......