Goodbye Prayer

A Father Put His 3 Year Old Daughter To Bed, Told Her A Story And Listened To Her Prayers Which Ended By Saying: 
"God Bless Mommy, God Bless Daddy, God Bless Grandma And Goodbye Grandpa."


The Father Asked, "Why Did You Say Goodbye Grandpa?"


The Little Girl Said, "I Don't Know Daddy, It Just Seemed Like The Thing To Do."


The Next Day Grandpa Died. The Father Thought It Was A Strange Coincidence.


A Few Months Later The Father Put The Girl To Bed And Listened To Her Prayers Which Went Like This: 
"God Bless Mommy, God Bless Daddy And Goodbye Grandma." The Next Day The Grandmother Died.


"Holy Moley, Thought The Father, This Kid Is In Contact With The Other Side.


Several Weeks Later When The Girl Was Going To Bed The Dad Heard Her Say: "God Bless Mommy And Goodbye Daddy." He Practically Went Into Shock.


He Couldn't Sleep All Night And Got Up At The Crack Of Dawn To Go To His Office. He Was Nervous As A Cat All Day, Had Lunch And Watched The Clock.
He Figured If He Could Get By Until Midnight He Would Be Okay. 
He Felt Safe In The Office, So Instead Of Going Home At The End Of The Day He Stayed There, Drinking Coffee, Looking At His Watch And Jumping At Every Sound.


Finally, Midnight Arrived, He Breathed A Sigh Of Relief And Went Home. When He Got Home His Wife Said, "I've Never Seen You Work So Late, What's The Matter?"


He Said, "I Don't Want To Talk About It, I've Just Spent The Worst Day Of My Life."


She Said, "You Think You Had A Bad Day, You'll Never Believe What Happened To Me. This Morning My Golf Professor Dropped Dead In The Middle Of My Lesson.

God Is Never Wrong

A King Who Did Not Believe In The Goodness Of God, Had A Slave Who, In All Circumstances, Said: My King, Do Not Be Discouraged, Because Everything God Does Is Perfect, No Mistakes!

One Day They Went Hunting And Along The Way A Wild Animal Attacked The King. His Slave Managed To Kill The Animal, But Could Not Prevent His Majesty Losing A Finger.

Furious And Without Showing His Gratitude For Being Saved, The Nobleman Said "Is God Good? If He Was Good, I Would Not Have Been Attacked And Lost My Finger."

The Slave Replied: "My King, Despite All These Things, I Can Only Tell You That God Is Good, And He Knows "Why" Of All These Things. What God Does Is Perfect. He Is Never Wrong!"

Outraged By The Response, The King Ordered The Arrest Of His Slave.

Later, He Left For Another Hunt And Was Captured By Savages Who Made Human Sacrifices.

In The Altar, Ready To Sacrifice The Nobleman, The Savages Found That The Victim Had Not One Of His Fingers, So He Was Released. According To Them, It Was Not So Complete To Be Offered To The Gods.

Upon His Return To The Palace, He Authorized The Release Of His Slave That He Received Very Affectionately.

"My Dear, God Was Really Good To Me! I Was Almost Killed By The Wild Men, But For Lack Of A Single Finger, I Was Let Go! But I Have A Question: If God Is So Good, Why Did He Allow Me To Put You In Jail?"

"My King, If I Had Gone With You In This Hunt, I Would Have Been Sacrificed For You, Because I Have No Missing Finger, Therefore, Remember Everything God Does Is Perfect. He Is Never Wrong."

Often We Complain About Life, And Negative Things That Happen To Us, Forgetting That Nothing Is Random And That Everything Has A Purpose.

Every Morning, Offer Your Day To God, Don't Be In A Rush.

Ask God To Inspire Your Thoughts, Guide Your Actions, And Ease Your Feelings. And Do Not Be Afraid. God Is Never Wrong!

You Know Why This Message Is For You? I Do Not Know, But God Knows, Because He Never Makes Mistakes.......

The Path Of God And His Word Is Perfect, Without Impurities. He Is The Way Of All Those Who Trust In Him.

What You Do With This Message Is Up To You. May God Put In Your Heart The Desire To Send It To Someone. God Knows Why He Choose You To Receive This Message. 
Please Bless Someone With It.

God Is Never Wrong

Meaning Of Car Names

BMW: Brings Me Women.

FIAT: Failure in Italian Automotive Technology.

FORD: For Only Rough Drivers.

HYUNDAI: Hope You Understand Nothing's Drivable And Inexpensive....

VOLVO: Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object.

PORSCHE: Proof Of Rich Spoiled Children Having Everything.

KIA: Kills In Accidents


OPEL: Old People Enjoying Life


TOYOTA: The One You Only Trust, Always.

GOLF/GTI: Girls Only Love Fun / Get Them Inside


HONDA: Hanged Over, Now Driving Away.

Taxi Driver

A Taxi Passenger Tapped The Driver On The Shoulder To Ask Him A Question. 


The Driver Screamed, Lost Control Of The Car, Nearly Hit A Bus, Went Up On The Footpath, And Stopped Centimeters From A Shop Window.




For A Second Everything Went Quiet In The Cab, Then The Driver Said, "Look Mate, Don't Ever Do That Again. You Scared The Daylights Out Of Me!" 


The Passenger Apologized And Said, "I Didn't Realize That A Little Tap Would Scare You So Much."




The Driver Replied, "Sorry, It's Not Really Your Fault. Today Is My First Day As A Cab Driver. I've Been Driving A Funeral Van For The Last 25 Years." 

Where to tap

Ever Heard The Story Of The Giant Ship Engine That Failed?
The  Ship's Owners Tried One Expert After Another, But None Of Them Could Figure But How To Fix The Engine.


Then They Brought In An Old Man Who Had Been Fixing Ships Since He Was A Youngster.

He Carried A Large Bag Of Tools With Him, And When He Arrived, He  Immediately Went To Work. 
He Inspected The Engine Very Carefully,  Top To Bottom. 


Two Of The Ship's Owners Were There, Watching This Man, Hoping He Would Know What To Do. 
After Looking Things Over, The Old Man Reached Into His Bag And Pulled Out A Small Hammer. 


He Gently  Tapped Something. Instantly, The Engine Lurched Into Life.


He Carefully Put His Hammer Away. 
The Engine Was Fixed! 
A Week Later, The Owners Received A Bill From The Old Man For Ten Thousand  Dollars.


"What?!" The Owners Exclaimed. "He Hardly Did Anything!"


So They Wrote The Old Man A Note Saying, "Please Send Us An Itemized Bill."




The Man Sent A Bill That Read:


Tapping With A Hammer ..      $2.00
Knowing Where To .......... $9998.00


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Moral: Effort Is Important, But Knowing Where To Make An Effort In Your  Life Makes All The Difference.

Programmer Vs Non-Programmer

A Non-programmer Thinks There Are 1000 Bytes In A Kilobyte.


A Programmer Is Convinced That There Are 1024 Meters In A Kilometer.


Non-programmer : I've Just Become A Member Of Rotract Club.
Programmer : Public Member Or Private?


Non-programmer: Hey.. My Submarine Is Not Sinking Into The Water!! What Could Be Wrong?
Programmer: May Be You Have Used Float Instead Of Double In The Software.


Non-programmer: Hey Bill, Can You Do Me A Favor? Can You Pass On These 500 Rupees To My Friend Joe?
Programmer: Sure.. Why Not? But Tell Me One Thing. Tell Me Whether Its Pass By Value Or Pass By Reference. 

Heaven

A woman arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the gates. 


She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her. They saw her and began calling greetings to her "Hello - How are you! We've been waiting for you! Good to see you." 


When Saint Peter came by, the woman said to him, "This is such a wonderful place! How do I get in?" "You have to spell a word," Saint Peter told her. 


"Which word?" the woman asked.  


"Love." 


The woman correctly spelled "Love" and Saint Peter welcomed her into Heaven. 


About a year later, Saint Peter came to the woman and asked her to watch the Gates of Heaven for him that day. 


While the woman was guarding the Gates of Heaven, her husband arrived. "I'm surprised to see you," the woman said. "How have you been?" 


"Oh, I've been doing pretty well since you died," her husband told her. "I married the beautiful young nurse who took care of you while you were ill. And then I won the multi-state lottery. I sold the little house you and I lived in and bought a huge mansion. And my wife and I traveled all around the world. We were on vacation in Cancun and I went water skiing today. I fell and hit my head, and here I am. What a bummer! How do I get in?" 


"You have to spell a word," the woman told him. 
"Which word?" her husband asked. 


"Czechoslovakia ." 


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Moral of the story:  Never make a woman angry... There will be Hell to pay later!

Asking The Right Question!

Jack and Max are walking from religious service. 
Jack wonders whether it would be all right to smoke while praying.


Max replies, "Why don't you ask the Priest?"


So Jack goes up to the Priest and asks, "Father, may I  smoke while I pray?" 


The Priest replies, "No, my son, you  may not! That's utter disrespect to our religion."


Jack goes back to his friend and  tells him what the good Priest told him.
Max says, "I'm not  surprised. You asked the wrong question. Let me try."


And so Max  goes up to the Priest and asks, "Father, may I pray while I smoke?"


To which the Priest eagerly replies, "By all  means, my son. By all means. You can always pray whenever you want  to."


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Moral of the story is... The reply you get depends on the  question you ask.


For example, if you want a vacation when still  working on a project don't ask for the holiday; 
Ask: "Can I keep  working on this project while I'm on vacation?"


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Happy Halloween!!

Happy Halloween!!

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